This Saturday night I get to marry the most amazing man I've ever known.
It's getting real and we are pretty excited about it!
Looking back on our relationship there are a lot of things that have helped make it successful. This one thing might seem small at first but in reality I think it has saved many many many arguments and problems.
Here it goes: we don't text.
Ok, ok we text like once a week … maybe twice during a big week.
When we first started dating I was 19 and Matt was 23 – he sent his first text message ever to me! I was used to guys only communicating with me via text so it was refreshing when I would get phone calls from him – how vintage! At first I couldn't understand why he wasn't getting back to my messages but then I quickly realized phones are the way to go – they are 100x faster and more personal.
Observing some of my friend's relationships I've noticed how many of them have arguments centred around their cell phones. "He didn't text me good morning, he didn't text me when he got home, he hasn't texted in hours…" At least 75% of my friends can't even make it through lunch without needing to text their partners. This would drive me CRAY-CRAY. Matt and I are both strongly independent and the idea of a requirement to talk to each other throughout the entire day would feel like we had handcuffs on our smartphones. Besides, I love getting home at night and finding out all about his day. I don't need the play by play it's all much better live over a chicken dinner and a glass of wine.
Matt will even go away for an entire weekend and I won't hear from him once - I LOVE that. I know he's thinking about me and I'm thinking about him but I want Matt to be in the moment and not feel like he's got to tap in every 57 minutes. And I know if there's a problem I'll be his first phone call!!
Honestly drop the texting and you will be 1000x happier with your relationship. If you want a love letter in the morning what about dusting off the old pen and paper and doing it the old fashioned way. Love by example!
I've heard of some of my friends doing a texting cleanse with their relationship - they don't text for 10 days and can't believe how much better it is. Might be something to try if you're deep in the quadrant of the text warp! There's a lot going on around us in the world! Let's get off our phones and look up!